They say it takes approximately 66 days on average for a new habit to form and I have been writing every day for six days so far, so a fair bit still to go!!
Six days ago I was given the task of writing a journal, showing gratitude and reading something inspiring every day for 33 days. To date I have stuck to it and it feels good. At the time of writing this blog, I have had a magical ‘aha’ moment relating to my post “40 things to do before I’m 40“. In this post I talk about publishing a book or blog and lo and behold, I am actually blogging………..again!
So thank you Mr Yanik Silver for setting me this homework – it was on my list of things to do and with your help, I am slowly ticking that list off – one by one.
Writing used to, according to my mum, be a passion of mine. Apparently I used to love writing stories as a kid and this manifested into me telling excerpts of my life through an unpublished book of mine. A book called “After the rain comes sunshine”. It was my therapy at the time, my way of getting everything out, my way of healing myself. My release and today it is sitting in my documents on my computer and will never make it past the firewall installed on my machine.
Why? I suppose it’s a bit too personal, I suppose some of my family won’t like to hear what I have to say. I suppose it is quite a bit of exposure into my life and feelings and I suppose I am not ready to necessarily share that with anyone just yet.
I think it was this realisation that also made me fall out of love with writing as sometimes I feel as writers, we can’t always share our innermost thoughts. We can’t share how we really feel. We sometimes have to censor our writing so we don’t disappoint or hurt other people in the process, cause arguments or be judged.
I liked the freedom of writing but I also felt I couldn’t necessarily be free with how I wrote. A blog or a book is different to a hand written journal. It’s not just for your eyes, it has the potential to reach millions of people all across the world. Now funnily enough, it also wasn’t the millions of people who made me think I needed to control my emotive writing, Instead its the work colleagues, Facebook friends, the acquaintances and the family that made me feel I couldn’t just write what I wanted – well in public anyway.
It’s those that were close to me or connected to me in some way which made me take a step back and opt against publishing.
However on reflection, the book was the best therapy for me – it allowed me to take control of my emotions and learn to deal with them. Perhaps that also contributed to me falling out of love with writing – perhaps my purpose for writing had been served and I no longer needed to do it. Who knows, but all I do know is that I am starting to find that sparkle again and it feels good. Even though I might have to direct some of my personal thoughts to an offline version, I still have a platform to share, reflect and rekindle my long lost passion.