Simply too fat

Shocked, horrified– was I? Yes is the answer and why I hear you ask. Well what used to once be a slim little thing (okay maybe when I was 12) has now turned into a whale! OMG I have put on two stone in 1 ½ years meaning that not only do my clothes no longer fit me but I am bordering on the “larger build” when asked to describe my frame. I can mask it fairly well because I am tall and by wearing expandable skirts (not trousers – they don’t fit). However 12 stone on the Richter scale – yes I am comparing myself to damage caused by an earthquake but hey if 12 stone of me came pounding towards you then I am sure I would cause a bit!

Well after pondering on how I could reduce my weight (lifting one foot up, putting more weight on the sink etc) I decided that the scales weren’t broken and I was just big boned or cuddly as I prefer it. I just love my food or cakes or both-yummy – oh im hungry- come to big mamma (only joking).

Anyway I decided to make a song up about myself and thought I would share it with you. This is what I am going to sing whilst I try and blast them calories by any means I can.

Now just imagine you are singing this in the Tina Turner, simply the best theme tune and you will get it. Now if anyone is with me- let’s make this song go national. Broadcast it to your friends, to your family and let all us cuddly people looking to boost the bulge join in.

I will see you on X-factor – ha ha 

Counting calories is what I have to watch- do do do do
Its not my fault that I’m as fat as ox- do do do do
Food just comes to me
I even smell it in my sleep

I’m simply too fat, do do do do
Bigger than everyone, do do do do
I just can not quit- no no no
And the weight piles on my hips 

Im simply too fat do do do
Bigger than everyone, do do do
I just can not quit- no no no
And the weight piles on my hips

Well I’ve tried and I’ve tried to put my weight behind me, do do do do
All that is left is my big pile of jelly, do do do do
I just cannot stop- no no no
And my belly goes wibbly wop

Im simply too fat do do do do
Bigger than everyone, do do do
I just can not quit- no no no
And the weight piles on my hips

Until the next…

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About egyptna

Traveler, actress and author who believes in positive frequencies and the law of attraction. Continually striving to be a better person - to learn, love and accept more about myself and others. This universe is full of wonderful things - it's down to us to open our eyes and see them and make the most of our time here. #letsmakeitcount
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One Response to Simply too fat

  1. steve g says:

    ok i’d love to hear u sing this hun but what shit r u talking about girl ur not fat

    Like

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