Give me some space

This week has been somewhat eventful to say the least- firstly I have reached the two-week mark for not smoking, and it hasn’t been easy. I have craved cigarettes soooo much that I felt that I would chew my lip off instead, and I have pissed a few people off along the way.

The beginning of the week saw me out of the office for a couple of days which was good as I hate being in the office for a whole 5 days- it seems to just drag! So on Tuesday I went to a technology seminar at the Business and Design Centre, Angel and flitted from seminar to seminar until I met up with my good friend J. Well after we had our meal, a bottle of wine, a few double sambuca’s and lemonade, we left to make our journey home- some what inebriated.

Tuesday was also the day that my friends baby was born- how sweet. She was one of those occasions where the mother has no time to get to the hospital and instead ends up giving birth to the baby on the kitchen floor- ouch springs to mind as no drugs!!!

Wednesday I was out of the office again at a meeting in Long Melford, Sudbury which is quite a small and pretty village. When I say small, I mean small- you know the type of village where people look like inbreds and look at you funny as if they sense that you’re not from round their neck of the woods. 

On thursday, I had to take control of a situation that was not being managed at all- the charity dragon boat race. Initially everybody signed up to it and my workplace entered a team into the event, paying nearly £500 to enter. The thing is nobody took any control or managed the build up to the event, nobody initiated sponsorship and nobody really wanted to do it in the end apart from a few. It was looking unlikely that we would get a team together as you needed 11 to take part and we only had 4. After consultation, my sister was in and before I knew it, she had roped her friend in and by the next day we had a full team.

On friday we started to try to get sponsorship, I set up a just giving page and my sister and friend made their own sponsorship forms and used aggressive and persuasive tactics to get their work mates and the drunkards at the pub to dip their hand in their pockets and give to the EACH charity. I’m pleased to say that we managed to raise £419 between us.

So dragon boat race day – Saturday 11 September. Two cars, one boat and 11 people to face the ultimate challenge of rowing 200 m to the sound of a drum beat, avoiding rat infested water getting into mouths and not capsizing! Well the start involved me picking up a few people- including one who turned up in a suit drinking a can of beer at 8.20 in the morning and looking like they hadn’t been to sleep. This was going to be some race!!

Over the hour journey, there were smiles, there was laughter and there were people drinking cans of lager- the car smelt like a brewery but hey these guys were giving up their saturday for me and a good cause – so what if they got a bit merry along the way. I just hoped they wouldn’t stand too closely to my work colleagues so that they couldn’t smell the toxic fumes and label me as an alcoholic.

Overall the day went really well and we averaged 45 seconds per race and managed to raise £470 for charity- so really its amazing what you can achieve when you set your heart on something.

So after the drive back, we all decided to go back to my partners flat and drink whilst others did some other stuff as well. I used to be up for going back to houses and getting on it but now I find it quite boring- everyone sitting round getting drunk and not doing anything. It’s mad because only a few months ago – this is something I would prefer doing. I wonder why you change your views on things so quickly?

Perhaps I’m getting old? Probably, considering I was tired and went for a cat nap at about 9pm- seriously a cat nap!!! That’s what grannies do and not 28 year olds.

It was probably a good job that I did have a cat nap because the next couple of hours involved me being kept awake or interrupted by some people who were out of their heads. I did laugh my arse off when my partner dressed in an all in one hot pants army style outfit though. However I was also slightly grossed out!

So sunday came, I woke up and surprise, surprise I see some of the old crowd but some new faces as well- must have been some party and I slept through it. That is not me- once upon a time, I would have still been partying with them but for some reason-I’m just not interested.

I decided to go back home to chill out and get some decent sleep and was accompanied by the man, who became rather helpful around my mother’s house by helping to paint the hallway and assemble the wardrobe.

Whilst cooking dinner for everyone- I called to my mother and partner- no answer, and then called again, to be told by my partner to wait a second as he was talking. I then warned them about a hot plate being too hot and again – no answer. The thing is they heard me and it was when I finally screamed  that they decided to answer. Now I don’t understand why I got so uncontrollably angry but I lost it, I thought they were so rude so I started talking to myself- loudly, deliberately so that they could hear me. My mother then got involved and stuck up for my partner- how dare she I thought. Rule number one don’t get involved in someone elses domestic. Both of them then refused to eat the dinner and so I blew- I got up threw the phone and felt like I wanted to punch a wall in. If I had any cigs, I would have smoked there and then- my chest was racing like my heart was going to jump out of my skin and the adrenaline was flowing big time.

To top it off I heard my partner then discussing my attitude with my mother downstairs- is he stupid, you have just seen me blow up and then you want to push me even further. Don’t you dare start talking to my mother about ME. I flew outside and told him not to do it and what did he do? What did he say? Well for one he wound me up even more by telling me ‘well i am’. This guy must be stupid, no one appreciates that so I told him to ‘fuck off out of my life for good’.

Rule number one don’t wind me up, rule number two, don’t wind me up and rule number three yes you got it- don’t wind me up.

The weird thing is that this happened yesterday and today I still feel angry. I really don’t want to see him at the moment and I don’t want to see my mother either. I can’t explain why I feel like this because I know I overreacted to some degree but I really don’t want to talk to them- they need to give me some space!

About egyptna

Traveler, actress and author who believes in positive frequencies and the law of attraction. Continually striving to be a better person - to learn, love and accept more about myself and others. This universe is full of wonderful things - it's down to us to open our eyes and see them and make the most of our time here. #letsmakeitcount
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1 Response to Give me some space

  1. andy says:

    Remind me not to wind you up! Or discuss you within earshot.


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