Well first I would like to say thank you to those special people who gave me some lovely feedback on my blog. Your comments are really inspiring and gives me a bit more substance for continuing in writing my blog. After all I can’t get enthused when realising that nobody has visited it- but hey now I have traffic- whoo hoo!
The idea in my head when I decided to blog was that I would try to capture as much of my daily thoughts as possible. To date this hasn’t worked out in theory- however I will try my best to update as much as possible.
So what has been happening in the last 15 days? Well on the weekend of 6 August, I was expecting some friends to finally come and see me. It feels at times that I am the only one who wants to make the effort in coming to see everyone. I know that the distance to my house could be considered as LONG however it is that same distance that I have to travel to visit my friends. A bit and give and take I believe! Anyway after my hissy fit and a nice glass of brandy, I decided to let bygones be bygones.
Soooo the weekend went like this- lots of drink, lots of laughter and hardly any sleep. My partner doesn’t handle these situations very well at the best of times (I have definitely noticed) and it wasnt long before he was accusing me of having an affair!! I wouldn’t mind but I am with him everyday so where he got that idea from – I don’t know. Unless he thought I was climbing through the window when I went to the toilet for a quick bunkup with the next door neighbour?? Anyway stupid I say but that’s what drink does to some. Some can’t mix their drinks, some can’t stay up all night drinking and some certainly shouldn’t drink!
Again I decided not to retaliate but he wanted to vent his so-called ‘anger’ at the ‘betrayal’ that he told me it wasn’t working and continued to slam about the house like when a kid doesn’t get their own way and has a strop.
So I left, and continued to party with the other late ravers or early risers. Sod him I thought- why waste a good night and I certainly wasn’t going to stay when he accused me of the most ridiculous thing anyway.
Then sunday came and so did a lot of questions- what am I doing? this can’t go on and so on and so on. After careful deliberation and once the alcohol wore off, I decided to leave the situation. Make a break from it- we both loved each other but our relationship was destructive. When we got on we really got on and when we didn’t, we wanted to kill each other!
It was a tough couple of days, I booked time off work and moved my bin liner filled clothes out once more! Oh and I cried and cried and cried. So now I’m back at mums – twenty bloody eight and back at mums- bless her.
Well I now share a bedroom with my sister and there is totally no room for me but it feels safe for now. I don’t want to rent a flat or get a mortgage until I know what I really want to do. Lately I am questioning my whole life from work to long-term career goals to relationships etc etc. So the last thing I need to do right now is get bogged down by a rental agreement.
So bunk beds it is 🙂
Anyway my partner and I are not split up but realise we can’t live together! So how has it been these last two weeks? Much better, I feel better in myself, I feel more focused and I feel that the relationship is also improving- probably because we don’t spend all our time together now.
I wished I hadn’t gone round there the other night though! Why I hear you ask, because then I wouldn’t have had some stupid youngster who decided to steal a moped, ride it through the park and then play bumper cars with my passenger door.
£400 excess it’s going to cost me and it is not even my fault!! I spoke to the claims handler for my insurance company and explained everything to her including the fact that my car was parked and I was upstairs until a neighbour alerted me. I advised her that the motorbike was left by my car and that I had contacted the police and they advised that it was stolen. So I was absolutely shocked when she asked me “would you say that you was in any way to blame?” Well yeah if I was psychic and controlled the motorbike with my powers and crashed it into my car because I wanted all the hassle and a good old claim up!
I mean some people!
Well enjoy the weekend everyone and until the next.